There are ways to cope when your parents are getting divorced. It may not seem that way, but you are not unique. 50-60 of all marriages end in divorce, that’s more than half. The first thing to understand is that it has nothing to do with you; it’s not your fault even though it may feel that way. Your parents have a relationship outside of the one they have with you. All though your life will change as a result of their decision, their relationship with you does not have to change. In many instances, your relationship with your parents can improve as you view them individually, as opposed to a single unit.
Talk about it to anyone you are comfortable talking to. Share your feelings. It is sometimes easier to hear what you think rather than keeping it all inside. Also, many of the people you may confide in may offer excellent advice. Remember, there is no shame in what your parents are doing, or how you feel about it. It simply is what it is, and how you deal with it defines who you are. Talk to friends, teachers, clergy, guidance councilors or complete strangers. It doesn’t matter who you talk to, just feel what you feel and talk.
Go on-line and research what others like you have felt and done in a similar situation. There are blogs, informational sites, articles and professional services available. You are not unique, so find out what others have done in your situation.
Turn your anger into positive energy. You can choose to deal with this in a good way, or perpetuate the negative emotions. It is your choice. After the initial insult, to carry it and make the situation worse is on you. If you care about your parents, keep it about them. You must have known something was up for a while anyway. Help them deal with what they are going through, don’t take sides, and they can help you. Antagonize them at this time of stress and they will have nothing left for you. Continue to love them, and let them be parents and adults.
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