Grrl to Grrl
(Advice)

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the question:
I have been married for a year and a half now and everything is going good except for one thing. My husband stares at other women everytime we go out. I have told him that I don't like this and how it makes me feel very insecure with our marriage, but he still does it. What can I do? Should I ignore it? That is so hard to do, I think what he is doing is very rude, and it embarasses me to be there with him when he does this. I have tried to return the favor and he flips out when I do it. I am starting to question whether or not I can stay in a marriage with someone who continously does this to his wife. Am I over-reacting or what? PLEASE HELP, this is eating me alive!

sheila’s advice
You are over reacting. It is normal for people to check out other people. If he only checks out the gal, then he is human. If he drapes himself over her, then you have a problem.

~Sheila

trixie’s advice
You are totally over reacting. I didn't expect my husband to go blind with our vows - you shouldn't either. Make a game of it. point out the hot chicks before he notices them.

Don't think of it as rude. Think of it this way: He may be checking out the other attractive women - but he's with you. That's the biggest compliment.

~Trixie

read what others have had to say:

Name:	Nathalie
Date:	Mon Mar 24 17:02:43 2003
Wrote... Well I am a romantic woman, and I believe it is disrespectful to check out other women when you are with your wife..it's just not the right thing to do...seeing other people around, everybody does it, but the fact that he doesnt like it when you do the same obviously demonstrates that it's a NO No.. I believe some men are considerate enough that they dont do that..but I would become distant and keep looking at other guys,,it might cure your husband..you dont have to live with something that makes you edgy when HE can do something about it Sincerely Nathalie 205.206.53.38 submitter's IP address

Name:	Angel
Date:	Wed Feb 26 16:52:31 2003
Wrote... If it bothers you that much which it would me, he should definately try to change that. I notice other guys when I'm with my man, but I respect him enough not to stare. I only glance and then look away. I have never caught my man staring at another woman and you shouldn't have to put up with that. If he's with you he should be looking at you. Of course he's gonna look ever once in a while at other women but it shouldn't be that obvious! Good luck, and if it bothers him he should realize how it bothers you. 12.238.164.189 submitter's IP address

Name:	Suzie
Date:	Mon Feb 10 17:13:10 2003
Wrote... Hey...I disagree with all of you...if she has told her husband and expressed to him that this bothers her then he should have enough respect to not do it, especially in her presence. It is rude and disrespectful for someone who is married to check out other women. If he said, wow that lady is very pretty, that wouldn't be so bad...but if he is saying wow, she's hot I'd like to stick it to her, thats a totally different story. Next time your husband does that while you are out together tell him once more that it bothers you and that you would appreciate if he didn't drool over other women. If he does it again, I would get up, leave the table and tell him to come home when he is ready to grow up. 12.151.32.25 submitter's IP address

Name:	shaye
Date:	Sat Jan 25 18:55:11 2003
Wrote... Im not going to say that your over reacting but its part of human nature. but i can understand what you mean when he does it in your presents. so when you return the favore next time-tell him its just what he does. 195.92.168.172 submitter's IP address

Name:	jade
Date:	Sun Dec 29 14:28:12 2002
Wrote... Look,just ignore him because he is a man, in-other-words it is a mans hobbie staring at other woman because all men are self-centered pigs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 62.64.209.136 submitter's IP address

Name:	Amy
Date:	Mon Dec 9 16:44:41 2002
Wrote... Hey every guy stares at women it's there life just face it they're eeeewwww ! 195.93.48.9 submitter's IP address

Name:	canadian princess of punk
Date:	Mon Dec 9 16:27:24 2002
Wrote... "I'm in a relationship - I'm not dead!" Don't let it phase you to a point where you are ready to dump him, yes its rude but its also human nature. I check people out as they walk into a room, but for me its more people watching then checking out my next sex-in-the-washroom-buddy. Tell him straight up that its ok to look at other women but to be more considerate when he is with you. A understanding woman is worth more than any fine young thing walking by. Be confident. 216.75.180.244 submitter's IP address

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