Forrest Chump
by Miss Liss

This was about 2 years ago....My senior prom. It's supposed to be one of the greatest nights in your high school career right? You wait 4 years for it.

I think it was 2 weeks before, and I still didn't have a date, but it wasn't a big deal. I had gone to junior prom dateless and had an awesome time with my friends and their dates. I was hanging out with a friend of mine after school one day, and she says "oh hey, you remember that guy who gave us a ride home last week?" I told her that I did. She said "well I was telling him that you don't have a date, and he asked me if maybe you would want him to take you."

Now at the time, (of course), I thought he was a pretty decent guy, and pretty normal for that matter. So I told her to give him my number and we could work things out from there. We talked for about a week and decided that we would go to prom together.

Now my friends and I had had this big picnic planned before prom, because as a lot of you know, restaraunts are packed and way too overpriced, and hey, picnics are original. Well I think it was about 2 days before prom, and this guy I have been in "love" with since the 8th grade asks me totally out of the blue if him and his date can hang out with our group that night. We were friends so it wasn't that big a deal, but I was surprised cause we didn't talk much at school. So of course I said sure, I mean a chance to hang out with my crush for 6 hours? What normal person wouldn't say yes?

Anyway it turned out that my date had to work until 7 that night, and prom started at 8:30. So we all went to this huge park downtown and had an awesome time, and Ben, (the crush), even told me that I looked awesome, which was amazing.....

This is where it starts to get bad, I promise. Forrest, (my date), did have his own car but it wasn't "working right" so he didn't want to drive it. I told him that I would go and pick him up from work. Me and two of my other friends drove 23 miles to pick him up, and his directions sucked, so we got lost. I should have known that it was gonna be awful when he was still in his work clothes. He worked at a pizza place, so it was pretty gross. I asked him where his clothes were, and he says "I figured these would be alright." Dear Lord. Thank God I have a lot of male cousins with nice clothes, and one of them took pity on me and lent Forrest some to wear.

By the time we actually get to prom we are an hour late. We finally caught up with the rest of the group, and then the jerk goes off to find my friend and her sister. By that time I almost didn't even care. Well some song comes on and a whole bunch of people start breakdancing and whatnot, and all of a sudden there is this huge crowd by the stage. Of course we all go up there, and who do we find up there getting his groove on? You guessed it..........my date. I was mortified, especially since about 3 minutes into it, He Fell Off The Stage. I could have curled up and died from embarassment right then. I had people, who hadn't given me the time of day in 4 years, come up to me and sincerely tell me that they were embarassed for me. It gets better. A slow song comes on and I ask him if he would like to dance, and he says that he is too tired, but not 2 minutes later I find him dancing with the "friend" who set us up. I just about went postal on him. He got all upset and goes outside to this balcony and sits in a chair and starts rocking himself! He sat there and did that for 10 minutes. Apparently he does that when he is really stressed. (I'm cringing as I write this.)

Ben finally asks me if I would like him to take Forrest home. More bonus time with him, so I tell him yes. We drive the chump the 23 back to his work, and he strips in the parking lot and hands me my cousin's clothes back and doesn't even say a word, he just slams the door. I guess you all can figure out by now that I never talked to him again.

Though the night didn't have a horrible ending...I got to see Ben half naked and that pretty much made up for the rest of it....

~February 2004

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