the shy guy gone wild
by an Anonymous Girlposse.com Reader

it all started when a friend of mine wanted to set me up w/a friend of her's.... as a favor. so I said sure... asked her the 20 questions, just to find out what he's like.. real nice guy, cute too, works *bonus* and has his own car.. all that.. I say, ok... what's the catch? he's shy. all I could think is oh great! i'm a very out going person, not shy at all... I dont' have any problem talking to people... so, he calls me and we make a date... he comes and picks me up, we out to eat. so we are shown to our table. sit down and I start asking him what he does, what he likes to do... all I pretty much get is one worded answers... *sigh* I can understand a guy being shy... but not when they answer in grunts and one worded answers.

so i'm trying to think of a way to get this guy out of his shell.. tuuuuurtle. c'mon give me a break here, i'm a nice enough person. trying not to be overbearing here or anything. so... I try everything my wicked lil mind can think of. so, I start telling him jokes. then I realize why he shouldn't laugh... he sounded like a braying donkey... on drugs. I turned about 30 shades of red in .05 seconds. poor guy...

well then he starts coming out of his shell... head startin to pop out now... maybe this won't be so bad. so he starts talking. the gates are open and the dam has broken. after that point, I can't get in a word edge wise. he was like a teenager on caffeine.

So then, we decide to go to the movies. ok.. i'll be safe there. so I thought, boy was I wrong. He pays for the tickets, gets the popcorn and soda. We get to our seats and their are people in front of us that are so tall we have to move... that's when he opens up and says how rude.. and says some other things that aren't things that should be repeated. At that moment in time I really wished the floor had opened up and swallowed me. I looked at him and asked him if that was necessary, we could have had them just scooch down, no big deal. He said that just wasn't possible. ok.. no worries. we sit down again... we get comfy for the movie, we're eatin the popcorn and drinking soda.

Next thing ya know, he's belching like he's in a redneck festival. ok.. fine if we were at a family bbq, but NOT in the movies... my jaw hits the floor.. I lean over and ask him if he could contain his belches. he looks at me like i've asked him to do somethin horrific. and then made me feel guilty for asking him to stop. but he did. stop that is. then a funny part came on.. he laughed so hard he had people YELLING at him to shut up. I sunk into my seat. I knew the poor guy couldn't help it, I think...

Anyway. He places his arm around my shoulders. no big deal... then he starts rubbing my shoulders.. then he goes down farther.... thinking he's gonna get away with this. I pull his arm from out around my shoulders, I stand up, and asked him to take me home, i'd had enough, he starts pouting and asks 'right now?' YES RIGHT NOW..

so we leave and he takes me home... then he has the audacity to ask me out again. as his hands are roaming up my thigh... I said if I was a prostitute would I consider it, but since I'm not there's no way in this life or the next will that ever happen. and he looked absolutely flabbergasted and couldn't figure out why I would say that.

I later called up my friend and she asked me how the date went, I told her to never again set me up with anybody. not even for a favor. I could do better on my own, I think

~January 2004

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