Dating No-No

The Pickup Artist

You may have seen the movie, heard the tales, or worse still, you might have had a personal run in with the pickup artist. I know I have. His story has made it into the bad date section.

This is the guy who knows all the right things to say. He is charming, delightful, romantic, and passionate and somehow makes you feel like you are the only one for him. He probably has a girl in every part of town and enjoys the thrill of the chase. His ego is boosted when he catches his victim. This guy has a big ego, which needs constant feeding.

No how to see the red flags waving in front of your eyes. If a guy is evasive about when he will be free to see you, he may have a busy schedule and you are not the only woman in his date book. This guy wants to keep his options open.

More red flags would include not introducing you to his family and friends. He doesn't want you to get too close to the comfort zone or his home front. He is usually only available for dinner for two and when his phone rings during a meal, he won't tell you who it was, or it will be 'a friend'. It probably is the girl who he is meeting up with after dinner if you aren't 'putting out' yet. She will think he is 'with the guys'.

Holidays and special occasions such as his birthday will are always a good way to spot a player. He will always have 'family commitments' to which you are not invited. On valentine's day he will probably try to be out of town or working late at the office. If this guy is vague about spending special dates with you, he may not be serious about you.

If this guy is actually brave enough to take you to his place, he won't play back his answering machine messages in front of you for fear of who has left him a message. If his place is too well stocked with wining and dining items such as wine and whipped cream, and by the bed is a super size box of condoms, not full, know you are not the first gal to enter his abode that week.
 
The pickup artist isn't serious about having a relationship. He just wants to get the girl and put another notch on his bedpost. If he is too smooth, tread lightly. There is something pleasant about a guy who is unsure of himself and tongue tied when meeting you. Not too shy, as my mother always told me that it was the quiet ones you have to watch out for. She was actually right about that. There is a happy medium between the pickup artist and the too shy guy. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find him.

Good Luck,
~Sheila, October 2000

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