Bad Date Stories

Valentine’s Day Special

the limo driver
Went on a date with a very young owner of a successful limosine company. He was about 25 and around 5'4, 120 lbs.  He picked me up in an 86 Honda and took me to a sports  restaurant for dinner, where he attempted to impress me by answering his cell phone rudely and hanging up abruptly on each call and using terrible profanity.  He then embarrassed me by insulting the waitress almost to tears when his dinner order was not cooked to his mysterious specifications. When it was time for the check, the waitress wouldn't come out, but sent the manager instead, who took the entree off the bill.

It was raining, and he covered his head with his coat and opened the door for himself first! He drove me to his big limo warehouse to see his cars and tried to put the moves on me by laying himself out inside one of the limos and turning on the neon interior lights and letting the radio play old Van Halen. While he actually tried pulling me onto him, I insisted I could really use a drink and he anxiously escorted me to his office. He couldn't mix a drink, but offered me a liquor bottle and a can of soda and a plastic cup. Then as if it couldn't get worse, he turned on the radio and tuned into some dance music and was trying to dance sexy, or something. Then he told me that he "I think you’re so sexy. I am really into big women." (I am 5'6 and 132 lbs.- not "big") As I stood there, shocked and insulted, he asked me if I liked talking dirty and began humping my leg like a little dog. So I hit him and forcefully told him I was going home now.

 When he drove up to my door, he said to me, "don't mention this to anyone, okay?"

Ha!!

~”Kate Valentine”
February 2001

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