Book Review

To Love, Honor, and Betray: The Secret Life of Suburban Wives
By Stephanie Gertler and Adrienne Lopez
Publisher: Hyperion
Published: 02/09/2005

| About the Book | About the Author | The Review | Where to Order |

About the Book
Extramarital affairs are often whispered about behind closed doors. In this groundbreaking book, the doors open. Stephanie Gertler and Adrienne Lopez take an intimate and sensitive look at the lives of 26 married or previously married women who have either had an affair, are having an affair, or are wrestling with their conflicting emotions and loyalties as they consider the possibility of being unfaithful to their husbands.

The women are between the ages of 35 and 70. They hail from various cultures, races, professions, and economic levels. Most have children. Many crave passion, intimacy, conversation, romance. And when those things aren't forthcoming in their marriages, they seek them elsewhere. To Love, Honor, and Betray never judges: It provides candid conversations, rendering women's lives in ways that are surprising and moving, while offering remarkable insight into the complexity of long-term relationships. It's the book that women have been waiting for.

This book is available from Amazon.com

About the Authors
Stephanie Gertler is the author of four novels, Jimmy's Girl, The Puzzle Bark Tree, Drifting, and The Windmill. She writes a monthly lifestyles column for two Connecticut newspapers, the Stamford Advocate and the Greenwich Time. She lives in Westchester County, New York, with her family.

Adrienne Lopez is an attorney and an independent TV and film producer with a first-look development deal at Spike TV. A former talk show producer and network executive, she is also the health, fitness, and beauty editor for Black Elegance magazine. She lives in Westchester County with her family.

The Review
My first reaction after reading this book was "Husbands should read this book... as a warning to what could be happening in their lives without them even knowing it!!!!" But I guess the same thing can be said for the wives, too.

Reading some of the stories was like a bad car accident. You don't want to keep looking, yet you can't seem to pull your eyes away from the wreckage.

This very honest look at affairs is sad, really. I almost felt guilty passing judgement on the couples that have had affairs because they were so open and offered us a look into the hearts and minds of people that have been there. But notice I said almost. I appreciate the struggles some feel. But the lack of guilt of others was just disturbing. And most of the stories solidified my belief that affairs are a choice. A very, very bad choice.

But I can't judge this book by the lack of morals of some of the people within the pages. It is well thought out and extremely well written. I would recommend this book most for people that either suspect their spouse may be cheating, or for women that are on the verge of an affair.

It just gives me the willies to think that people may actually buy this book to justify their own affairs.

~Trixie, January 2005

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