The End of a Friendship

Many people come into our lives throughout a lifetime. Some people we meet and never remember. Others pass into our lives for a short time, yet leave a lasting memory. Yet others, the few and far between, become a part of our everyday selves. They're the people you can share your entire being with. Your hopes, your fears, your everyday mundane happenings. These are the people you come to count on in good times, in bad times and the times in between. These are the best friends. Friends you know will be in your life throughout time. No matter the physical distance between you, you're always close, always connected.

At least that's what you assume. You never have a reason to believe it will be any different. But people change. Some for the better, some for the worse, and sometimes as a result, friends can go their separate ways. It is sad to realize you've grown apart. It hurts to find you may have actually done something to end the friendship. It's devastating to learn that your friend no longer wants to be a part of your life, no matter what the reason. But especially if the reason is one you believe to be trivial.

The loss of a friendship can be even more painful than the loss of a boyfriend or girlfriend. After all, when you lose a partner, it's your friends you turn to for consolation. Who do you turn to when you lose a friend? Who will let you call them at 3 am so that you can cry on their shoulder? Who is going to tell you that you'll find another, and be convincing? You know that friendships happen over time. Great friendships usually take longer to develop than a new relationship can take turning into marriage. It's something you can't force. You're either bound to be great friends, or you're not.

Once you get over the initial ego shock and anger, you settle into a feeling of hurt and regret, bordering on despair. You begin to question your value as a friend. As a human being. Over time you'll look back on your friendship with a bittersweet sadness. It's easy to remember the good times, and unlike many relationships, there are usually few bad times that were an early signal to the demise.

However, you should always keep in mind that people come into your life for a reason. Some are meant to stay forever. Others are here only to teach you or to you help you through something, or you were in theirs to teach or to help them. Even when a friend is no longer in your life, if you were truly friends, you should value what they gave you from themselves. There are always lessons to be learned. By concentrating on what you have both given and received within the friendship, you will find it easier to deal with the loss of a friend.

~Trixie, September 2000

Send this article to a friend

Previous Article                 List of Articles                   Next Article