Can Men and Women Be “Just Friends”

Can men and women be friends? Ask people and you're sure to get a  variety of responses. They range from "Absolutely!" to "Hell no!" and everything in between. The more people tend to think about the question before answering, the more wishy-washy the answer tends to get. "Well, depending on the people involved, I suppose it could be possible for a man and woman to be friends."
 
 Well, I'm here to tell you that the answer is yes. Men and women can be friends. But yes, there are usually some basic ground rules:
1) Just as with any friends, you really need to share common interests.
2) Romantic feelings that are one sided can kill the friendship. Romantic feelings that are returned can turn into marriage.
3) Both people, when in romantic relationships with others, need to be dating secure, non-jealous people.
4) The younger you are the easier it is. You usually don’t have as many hang-ups about the opposite sex as you do after going through life for awhile.
5) In most cases, if the friend is an ex they usually can not be a friend. Why keep visiting a car wreck?

I have many male friends and we are just that. Friends. Okay, so maybe I've slept with a couple of them and we realized that we were better together in the vertical than in the horizontal, but at least the sexual tension was removed from the friendship. Some of my non sexual male friends became so as they were first attracted to me, but when I wouldn't go out with them, settled for being friends. Now that they have really gotten to know me, they realize that they are better off as a friend and great relationships have been formed. In one case, one of my male friends became so as he didn't want to date me because he liked me too much. He enjoyed my friendship and didn't want to have that jeopardized in anyway. This was one of the most bizarre things I had ever heard, but really showed me that men and women can be friends and good ones at that.

Quite often we meet members of the opposite sex to whom we have absolutely no physical attraction to what so ever, yet we bond in other ways and have a lot in common and share a lot of laughs. These people make great friends no matter what sex they are. Why throw away a good thing just because of a person's gender? Friends of the opposite sex are also a great way to meet potential partners. They are also a great way to get to know how their mind works. Men and women think so differently about so many things, so it is great to have an opposite sex friend to learn from and to sometimes translate for you.

Men and women can be friends, just as straight woman can have lesbian friends and just as people of different colors and races can be friends. What it all boils down to is that friendships are special and should be treasured no matter who it is that you share them with.

~Sheila and Trixie, October, 2000

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