Supporting The Service Member & Their Family
A Guide and Reference for Extended Families & Friends of Military Families
C 2004 Army Wife Talk Radio

Across the United States anyone can find millions upon millions of US Flags and yellow ribbons. If you are a member of the extended family of a service member, or even a friend or neighbor, you quickly realize supporting the military and its families takes much more than a ribbon or a flag.

Military members give their lives and their hearts to fight for our country. Every day many find themselves in deployment situations. Though the Department of Defense has created many programs and services to support troops in times of war and peace, an active role by the family and friends is imperative for morale.

It has been found that many immediate families such as the spouse, and children have some understanding of what the soldier is facing. However, as the chain grows longer the extended family usually knows less and less. Below you will find tried and true ways to not only show your support for the service member, but to provide a strong system for the military family as well.

Tell Them You Are Proud

Tell the soldier and their family that you are proud of what they are doing. Even if you do not agree with the situation or our leadership decisions, support the sheer selflessness act of your soldier.

Show Your Pride

Pride can be shown in numbers of ways from flying a flag, tying a yellow ribbon around a tree or pole, placing a service flag in your window, putting a magnet on your car, buying a bracelet or trinket with their name or unit, placing a flickering candle in your window symbolizing "keeping the light on", and many more. Find the way you want to show your support and fly it high!

Do Your Research

Know where your soldier is going. What kind of weather is there? What kind of religion? What rules? What is their mission (if possible to know)? Be interested and find out more about where your soldier will be and what he/she will have available to them while they are away.

Help With Chores & Tasks

The family left behind is left with many additional duties due to the absence of the service member. If possible, help with duties like mowing the lawn, small home repairs, babysitting etc. If you are too far away to help with these things consider sending a gift of "lawn maintenance for one year" from a business local to the family, or finding a local sitter service and purchasing a gift certificate.

Get Involved - Participate

Be involved in your soldiers' life and with their family. Don't be afraid to call them just to say "hello" and check in to see if things are going okay. Every soldier has some sort of family readiness group or support system (depending on the branch) that offers information pertaining to families. Get involved in this group. Allow them to call you, mail you, or email you with updates or information. Participate in their fundraisers and events.

Don't Forget The Ones Left Behind

Often we remember the soldier, but forget the spouse and kids. Remember that the soldier will be more at peace by not worrying if everything at home is squared away. Offer as much help as you can for the family that has been left behind. Be an open ear. Visit them if possible.

Communicate

Buy your soldier a phone card to call home. Buy one for their kids or spouse also. This shows that you are opening the lines for communication. Create a simple basket and fill it with phone cards, stationery, and kids' supplies (markers, glitter pens, colored paper) for keeping in touch with the deployed member. Write the soldier letters, send cards, care packages, or email. Don't get upset or distraught if you don't hear back from the soldier. Remember, they are often busier than you can ever imagine. Each letter is anxiously awaited and welcomed on mail day even if you hardly ever hear a word back.

Send Care Packages

Don't wait for you soldier to send a list of things he/she "needs". Send a care package once a month or as often as you are able. Pack the package with fun things (see our care package article for suggestions at www.armywifetalkradio.com). Send an AAFES (Army & Air Force Exchange Service) gift certificate to a service member or their family: http://www.aafes.com/docs/homefront.htm. Don't forget that the soldier is not the only person that needs/deserves a care package, mama and the kids do too! So send any significant people that were "left at home" a special something!

Remember Important Dates & Attend Important Events

Often times, your soldier leaves behind a family at home. Life continues where they were left. Children graduate, dance recitals, soccer games, etc. Remember these special events and try to attend if possible. Always try to remember special dates such as birthdays, anniversaries and more. Holidays are the toughest times when a family member is deployed. Remember that most military families don't live near their relatives and may not be able to travel this holiday season. So, invite a military family over for a holiday meal, buy them a small gift (or make a craft) or offer to baby-sit while the parent does shopping. If at all possible, celebrate through the miles.

~June 2005

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Tara Crooks is the site owner and talk show host of http://www.ArmyWifeTalkRadio.com Tara's journey with the military began in 1998 when she and her husband CPT Crooks PCS'd to their first duty station, Ft Hood. Since, she has earned a profitable living by building a great Army wife internet talk radio resource. She is a PROUD Work at Home Mama & Army Wife.
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