Travel

Bad Trip Winner
"London"
by Bri from Michigan

On a trip through Europe, my group was scheduled for one day in London. I had stayed up quite late the night before, and was very tired when I boarded the bus. I fell asleep during the bus tour with my head resting against the window, the bus driver came to an abrupt stop, and sent me flying into the tray that had fallen down from its normal position on the seat in front of me. My nose swelled to roughly the size of a tennis ball and began to bleed. One of my group members gave me a cold Diet Pepsi to hold against my nose. The bottle had a crack in the seam, and ended up leaking all over my backpack.

The bus left my group at Buckingham Palace to watch the changing of the guards. All of a sudden, my period started. It took about 20 minutes to find a bathroom and a tampon, so I missed the guard change. Everything was okay though, because I had found a tampon, washed my shorts, and gotten a chocolate ice cream cone. I had worn fringe-shorts and a white tshirt that day, but some of the white fringe was uneven and, thus, unattractive to certain well-meaning people. Another girl in my group decided to be helpful and offered to pick off the uneven fringe on my shorts while I was eating my ice cream cone and we were waiting for our guide. As astonishing as this sounds, white fringe looks a lot like a tampon string. Apparently, my tampon string had slipped out of my panties and was hanging with the fringe. My well-meaning group member pulled it; and pulled it hard. Now, if you've never experienced the feeling of a tampon being ripped from your body, I can only equate it to what it must feel like to have a badger bite off your pinkie finger. I was surprised and moderatly upset when this happened, enough to hurl my ice cream cone several feet in front of me when I jumped; and then there was a little bit of crying, and quite a bit of cursing.

I calmed down with the help of a few of my group members, and decided I'd have to go locate a new tampon. I found my ice cream cone by way of slipping on the cone and wiping the chocolate ice cream off of the sidewalk with my rear end. A young man walking down the sidewalk when I fell stopped to help me up, and spilled his hot latte all over my shirt in the process. I'd had just about enough of that day and I sat down on a bench and cried. A couple of girls went into a local shop and bought me a new t-shirt and shorts. I gladly accepted them and found a bathroom so I could change clothes. The rest of the day was incident-free. That is, until I went to get on the bus and a pidgeon pooped on my head.

~November 2002

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